So today was my very last day as a college student, it's completely over in all of its gloriously awkward entirety. I feel like life keeps giving me too much.
I think I am happy, I think I can breathe a little more and a little better, I'm not sure if that's the lack of nicotine or the fact that I ended my college career finally taking a creative writing class and it was the greatest choice I've made in a real long fucking time. I want to be a writer, I don't know why I convinced myself it was pointless, it's really worth something, and I don't need to be genius I just need to be honest, and that's all I've really wanted.
This post took a weird turn and I'm sorry, I'm happy and I want to share today with someone and the past few nights I've finally discovered what's it's like to cry out of love-loneliness and I think I might try flirting or grabbing guys' numbers just for fun, at least until I figure out what's going on with my heart in another place.
I'm not in my (what I like to call) rubber-band complex, I'm getting rid of the dirty water between me and my ex, and it's okay to love something that didn't work, and you can still love and hope for other things at the same time. It's not a bad thing. Not at all.
Florence Welch is a blessing, I swear, that moment she pulls it all out of you while you listen to How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful and I have a really hard time getting through it without crying --although my gut's getting attuned to the crying urge, kind of like you can with danger, so I think I'll be alright, I love everything.
I hope everything is going well in your life, and I hope you are happy as a bee. ✩
